One Size Fits...Most?

Originally posted January 30, 2006...

I discovered an interesting label on a hat today, and felt compelled to write something about it. The label in question read, "One Size Fits Most." This struck me as odd, as I recalled the good old days of "one size fits all." But it begged the question...when exactly did we lose the "all" part of the equation? I read recently that somewhere near 50% of the US populace is officially considered overweight, but all that means is that being overweight is now considered average. Congratulations if you're trying to be "average," Mr. Fat Man...you've made it! But I digress...

The point I'm getting at is that there are freaks amongst us whose noggins simply will not fit a traditionally-sized hat. Which begs another question...where does someone like this find appropriate headgear? Are there stores out there who, in the tradition of big and tall fashionistas, cater to the melon-headed? If so, what are they called, and where do we find them? Texas has always been a bastion of large-scale people, products, etc., so I'm assuming such a store would exist there. Where else could we get the notion of the 10-gallon hat?

Maybe I'm just rambling here, but there's an image I can't get out of my head after reading that label...South Park's Mr. Mackey (mmmkay?). King of the larger than life cranium, this guy would DEFINITELY benefit from the Texas-sized hat emporium (King Cranium's? Hydrocephalics 'R' Us? Big Head Todd & The Monsters?)!

Just realized that I've made absolutely no sense here, so I'll close for now. Thanks for reading...