Green Poop and Butt Paste

Chalk another one up in the "Things You'll Never Think About Until You're a Parent" category...

Matthew had a pretty significantly uncomfortable diaper rash the other day, so we called the doctor to see what she recommended.

First of all, let me clarify to you non-parents what a diaper rash is like... Picture walking around in flannel pants on for several hours on a hot summer day, and the resultant chafing that exists just inside the thighs. OUCH! So...now imagine that every three hours someone with a wipe soaked in alcohol is going to attack your nether regions with gusto in an effort to scrub away all poop-related remnants, and you can imagine the discomfort level here.

Incidentally, here is where the green poop comes in. FUN! Yesterday afternoon when I picked up the boys from school, Matthew's teacher had filled two sippy cups with what can only be described as a Shrek-green beverage...apparently some sort of juice product. The boys naturally chugged it down without a second thought. Flash forward to this morning and Matthew's first diaper change of the day: BRIGHT GREEN POOP abounded! Not just the Shrek-green goop from the sippy cup, either. I'm talking DAY GLOW GREEN here! NASTY! But back to the Butt Paste...

Sso we call the doctor and what does she recommend? BOUDREAUX'S BUTT PASTE!! You read right...BUTT PASTE! Not necessarily the glue the kid in the helmet ate back in kindergarten, but a rather unpleasant brown goop that you're supposed to smear across your baby's butt during diaper changes. FUN! I still haven't figured out exactly what this stuff is - or where it came from - but I can absolutely tell you that the stuff WORKS! Two days later, and the kid's butt is back to the way it should be. Amazing! Thank you, Boudreaux's Butt Paste!

Shameless plug here: http://www.buttpaste.com/

Another Simple Sister

So a few posts ago I mocked my youngest sister for asking me how they made sweet potatoes orange. Admittedly, that's one of the more retarded things that someone can ask...HOWEVER!...below is a direct transcript of a text message that the oldest of my two sisters sent me while seeing The Simpsons Movie:

"Are the Simpsons dogs? Like what animal are they?"

WHAT THE HELL?!?!? Apparently her on-again-off-again boyfriend (and his friends) had convinced her that the Simpsons were once animals of some kind that were turned into yellow people by the continual ingestion of toxic waste from Springfield's nuclear (It's prounounced "nuke-yuh-ler!") power plant. OUCH! This is somewhat akin to the time my roommates and I convinced a girl in college that Buffalo Wings came from cows. Of course, we also convinced the same girl that our computer was touchscreen and we had to use the mouse and keyboard because the monitor was broken... Hmmmmm...

Birthaversary VI

I had a hard time deciding where exactly to post this little ditty, but in the end I decided to post it here because of the company we kept during Birthaversary VI.

As a quick reminder, Holly and I were married on my 25th birthday, thus making our anniversary and my birthday a sort of joint celebration. In an effort to improve my marketing chops, we decided to call this joyous occasion a "Birthaversary." That being said...

We went out on Saturday night with Chris's girlfriend's parents. Yes...you heard correctly...Chris has a girlfriend. Her name is Annabeth, and she's been his go-to girl pretty much since birth. They're more or less inseparable at school, and she serves as his punishment to us if we irritate him. "Mommy, you hurt my feelings. Now you can't come to Annabetha's (his pronunciation) house with me!!" So...since they appear to be best friends and all, we decided to invite Annabeth's parents over for Chris's and Matthew's respective birthday parties. After talking with them for a while, we realized that not only were they extremely cool, but we have a TON in common with them. I won't belabor the point here, but the key element is that they got married on the same exact day that we did. Not only that, but they actually looked into having their reception at the Roswell Mill. Of course, they weren't able to get that particular party spot. Why? Because WE already had it! :-)

Anyway...fast-forward from April until now. We have now spent several afternoons and evenings hanging out with Will and Andrea (did I mention their names yet?), and have found them to be an absolute blast to be around. It was only natural, then, that we decided to celebrate our collective anniversary together. Again, I won't bore you with too terribly many details, but it boils down to this: Fogo de Chao for 4 equals TONS of tasty meat on sticks. Taco Mac for 4 equals two VERY drunk wives!

We gorged ourselves on Brazillian skewered meats at Fogo, then retired to The Mac for tasty beverages. While Will schooled me on the fine art of Golden Tee (I'm starting to see the attraction to that phenomenal waste of money), the girls held down the fort by tossing back SEVERAL delicious cocktails. A long drive home and one passed-out wife later, our 6th Birthaversary came to a close. All in all, it was a great night and we had a ball with Will and Andrea.

And, in an effort to further blackmail the ladies (and to a certain extent Will and I), here are some pictures. Enjoy!