A (Somewhat Minor) Tragedy

So about two months ago, Holly came home from Wal-Mart with two betta fish for the boys. In case you're not familiar with these guys, they're the infamous "fighting fish" who flare their gills when they see another fish (or themselves in a mirror...). Anyway, Holly thought that it might be fun for the boys to have another couple of "pets" in the house, and that it would be a good way for Chris to learn some responsibility by feeding them, etc.

Now, these fish don't require a lot in the ways of a home, so they had a cool little tank that was split downt the middle by a removable barrier (so they didn't attack each other, but you could remove it and watch the hilarity that ensued). The tank sat on the kitchen counter. That's point number one.

Point number two is that we have cats. From day one, we always did a great job of keeping the cats away from the fish, and made every effort to ensure their little guppy safety. In spite of our efforts, the cats frequently knocked the top off of the fish tank to drink the water. Gross, I know, especially given that they have fresh, clean water downstairs. But these are also the same animals that lick their own butts to keep clean, so what're ya' gonna' do? I digress... The point is that we had come to believe that the fish were in no real danger as the cats were apparently only interested in their home as a source of (somewhat nasty) drinking water. Guess they were too lazy to go downstairs for a drink, but I digress again...

Fast forward to this morning. I was on my way downstairs to get the boys' sippy-cups ready for the car, when I saw it... Toppled over and spewing rocks and water everywhere was the aforementioned "split level" fish house. And where, pray tell, were said fish (whose names are Bob and Fred, by the way)?? Kitty breakfast burritos, I'm afraid! It seems the cats were lulling us into a sense of false pescadoral security by only drinking the water up to this point, and were simply biding their time until they could get away scott-free.

The boys don't know about the incident yet, as I was able to clean up the mess and put the fish tank under the sink. I'm still not sure how we're going to handle this one, but it should be entertaining!

RIP Bob and Fred...

Dawgs and Cats Living Together...MASS HYSTERIA!

Ghostbusters quotes aside, we had a really great time this weekend with Andrea and Will (parents of the oft-mentioned Annabeth and Kyra...the boys' "girlfriends"). A couple of quick notes before getting into this, though:

First, Will and Andrea are HUGE Clemson Tigers fans.

Second, Clemson and Georgia have, in the past, had somewhat of a bitter rivalry. Apparently (and this is a bit before my time) the teams used to play on an annual basis throughout the 80s, and the rivarly was somewhere on par with Georgia/Florida, etc. Not a lot of love lost here.

Finally, Holly and I are bitterly opposed to pretty much any school that uses orange as one of their key colors. Clemson, of course, uses orange and PURPLE (what the hell?!?) as their colors of choice.

SO...it was with great difficulty that we allowed the purveyors of purple and orange into our home this Saturday (with the girls, no less!) to watch the Georgia/Alabama game. The game notwithstanding (it was AWESOME! GO DAWGS!), we had an amazing time with them. Burgers were grilled, beer was served, cookies were eaten, and (thankfully!) no munchkins removed their clothes this time around. (Background on the nake reference can be found here)

Annabeth showed up in a dress, which is quite the big step for her. Andrea usually won't let her wear them because she invariable ends up ruining them somehow. This time around, though, everything ended up fine, and she was completely adorable. Kyra was equally cute, and she and Matthew spent most of the evening chasing down Chris and Annabeth. I've honestly never seen four kids play so HARD! Matthew and Kyra finally crashed at about 10:00, but Chris and Annabeth were still going pretty strong when Georgia finally threw the game-winning touchdown pass at about 11:30. Incredible!

A highlight of the evening was a brief conversation with Andrea's sister, Katie. For about the past month or two, Chris has been making up stories about the various games and trips that he has taken with "his" Aunt Katie. These have included going to South Carolina to attend cheerleading college and going to various weddings and other special events that somehow involved her. Apparently he has heard Annabeth talking about Katie, and just wants to be part of that relationship, too. CUTE! SO...Andrea is on the phone with Katie and says to Chris, "Do you want to talk to Katie?" Chris, of course, was all in! He grab's the phone and says, "Hi, Annabetha's Aunt Katie!" It was hilarious! Incidentally, anything that belongs to Annabeth is termed "Annabetha's." Not sure where the extra "a" comes from in all of that, but it's a lot of fun all the same.

ANYWAY...once the game was over and everyone was thoroughly exhausted, we finally called it a night at about midnight. We had a lot of fun, and we're even happier that Georgia pulled out the win. Now Will and Andrea aren't cursed, and will be allowed to visit our house during future games!

GO DAWGS!!

Beach Buddies

Earlier this month we visited Holly's folks down in Orlando for a little R&R. While we were there, we mostly hung out at their pool and lounged. On the Sunday before Labor Day, though, we took off for Cocoa Beach and my in-laws' beach club...what a great time!

Chris and Matthew had an amazing time playing in the sand and "swimming" with us out in the ocean. The water couldn't have been any nicer...perfectly warm and just clear enough to know whether we were about to be eaten by anything.

Eventually we got tired of roasting on the beach and getting sand in our unmentionable areas, so we headed up to the club to hang out at THAT pool. It was absolutely gorgeous! Complete with a waterfall and fountain-style play area for the kids, it was a great spot for a little extra relaxation. Unfortunately, the day had to come to a close when thunderstorms moved into the area. All in all, though, a great time was had by all.

Of course, pretty much any trip to Cocoa that doesn't involve either a hospital trip or visit with the Florida Highway Patrol is a nice one! BACKGROUND NOTE - Our first trip to Cocoa with the family resulted in our slamming into an uninsured (and apparently wanted) driver on the way home. The driver and passenger went running as soon as we called the cops, and had to be pulled out from under a nearby resident's front porch by the authorities (who used a HELICOPTER to track them down...awesome!!). Our second trip included taking my nephew to the emergency room for a pretty serious illness. Fun! It's also worth noting that I went to Cocoa on spring break several years ago. That trip included a three-hour wait for AAA to come and remove my broken car key from the ignition of my car. One of my roommates broke it off in his enthusiasm to leave the car for a beer run...cool!

SO...we have FINALLY had an issue-free Cocoa Beach run. Totally worth it, and VERY relaxing. Here are a few pictures. Enjoy!

And finally...the aftermath! :-)

Chris's Beautiful Princess

Last night we went to a surprise birthday party that my boss's boyfriend threw for her. Since it was all the way down in Midtown and we didn't leave until close to midnight, my boss decided that we should have a late start to work this morning. As such, Holly had to take the munchkins to school this morning.

None of that really has too much to do with anything...I'm just setting the stage a little bit. SO...Holly shows up to school with the boys, and Chris immediately runs to Miss Emily, his favorite teacher. Emily goes through the standard meet and greet, hugs Chris and says to Holly, "Listen to what Chris told me yesterday! He told me that I was his 'beautiful princess.' He said that you and Brian were going to take me shopping for a beautiful new dress, a pretty crown and a wand, and that we were going to get married tomorrow!" Holly said she's never seen Miss Emily so happy. :-)

Donut Face!

A great opportunity to let a picture speak for itself!

This was taken on August 11th, Holly's and my "Birthaversary." I stopped on the way home Friday night and picked up some chocolate donuts for breakfast in bed (who says romance is dead?!?), and Matthew ended up with more than his fair share.

You Snooze...

If there was ever a question in anyone's mind as to whether Chris is indeed Holly's or my child, let those doubts now be satisfied. We let Chris sleep in our bed the other night, and set him up with a book to "read" before he went to sleep. This is a pretty common occurrence, and usually he'll finish with the book and toss it to the floor before conking out. This time, though, he just couldn't seem to make it all the way through the book before sleep got the better of him. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I'll let the photo below speak for itself...

Green Poop and Butt Paste

Chalk another one up in the "Things You'll Never Think About Until You're a Parent" category...

Matthew had a pretty significantly uncomfortable diaper rash the other day, so we called the doctor to see what she recommended.

First of all, let me clarify to you non-parents what a diaper rash is like... Picture walking around in flannel pants on for several hours on a hot summer day, and the resultant chafing that exists just inside the thighs. OUCH! So...now imagine that every three hours someone with a wipe soaked in alcohol is going to attack your nether regions with gusto in an effort to scrub away all poop-related remnants, and you can imagine the discomfort level here.

Incidentally, here is where the green poop comes in. FUN! Yesterday afternoon when I picked up the boys from school, Matthew's teacher had filled two sippy cups with what can only be described as a Shrek-green beverage...apparently some sort of juice product. The boys naturally chugged it down without a second thought. Flash forward to this morning and Matthew's first diaper change of the day: BRIGHT GREEN POOP abounded! Not just the Shrek-green goop from the sippy cup, either. I'm talking DAY GLOW GREEN here! NASTY! But back to the Butt Paste...

Sso we call the doctor and what does she recommend? BOUDREAUX'S BUTT PASTE!! You read right...BUTT PASTE! Not necessarily the glue the kid in the helmet ate back in kindergarten, but a rather unpleasant brown goop that you're supposed to smear across your baby's butt during diaper changes. FUN! I still haven't figured out exactly what this stuff is - or where it came from - but I can absolutely tell you that the stuff WORKS! Two days later, and the kid's butt is back to the way it should be. Amazing! Thank you, Boudreaux's Butt Paste!

Shameless plug here: http://www.buttpaste.com/

Another Simple Sister

So a few posts ago I mocked my youngest sister for asking me how they made sweet potatoes orange. Admittedly, that's one of the more retarded things that someone can ask...HOWEVER!...below is a direct transcript of a text message that the oldest of my two sisters sent me while seeing The Simpsons Movie:

"Are the Simpsons dogs? Like what animal are they?"

WHAT THE HELL?!?!? Apparently her on-again-off-again boyfriend (and his friends) had convinced her that the Simpsons were once animals of some kind that were turned into yellow people by the continual ingestion of toxic waste from Springfield's nuclear (It's prounounced "nuke-yuh-ler!") power plant. OUCH! This is somewhat akin to the time my roommates and I convinced a girl in college that Buffalo Wings came from cows. Of course, we also convinced the same girl that our computer was touchscreen and we had to use the mouse and keyboard because the monitor was broken... Hmmmmm...

Birthaversary VI

I had a hard time deciding where exactly to post this little ditty, but in the end I decided to post it here because of the company we kept during Birthaversary VI.

As a quick reminder, Holly and I were married on my 25th birthday, thus making our anniversary and my birthday a sort of joint celebration. In an effort to improve my marketing chops, we decided to call this joyous occasion a "Birthaversary." That being said...

We went out on Saturday night with Chris's girlfriend's parents. Yes...you heard correctly...Chris has a girlfriend. Her name is Annabeth, and she's been his go-to girl pretty much since birth. They're more or less inseparable at school, and she serves as his punishment to us if we irritate him. "Mommy, you hurt my feelings. Now you can't come to Annabetha's (his pronunciation) house with me!!" So...since they appear to be best friends and all, we decided to invite Annabeth's parents over for Chris's and Matthew's respective birthday parties. After talking with them for a while, we realized that not only were they extremely cool, but we have a TON in common with them. I won't belabor the point here, but the key element is that they got married on the same exact day that we did. Not only that, but they actually looked into having their reception at the Roswell Mill. Of course, they weren't able to get that particular party spot. Why? Because WE already had it! :-)

Anyway...fast-forward from April until now. We have now spent several afternoons and evenings hanging out with Will and Andrea (did I mention their names yet?), and have found them to be an absolute blast to be around. It was only natural, then, that we decided to celebrate our collective anniversary together. Again, I won't bore you with too terribly many details, but it boils down to this: Fogo de Chao for 4 equals TONS of tasty meat on sticks. Taco Mac for 4 equals two VERY drunk wives!

We gorged ourselves on Brazillian skewered meats at Fogo, then retired to The Mac for tasty beverages. While Will schooled me on the fine art of Golden Tee (I'm starting to see the attraction to that phenomenal waste of money), the girls held down the fort by tossing back SEVERAL delicious cocktails. A long drive home and one passed-out wife later, our 6th Birthaversary came to a close. All in all, it was a great night and we had a ball with Will and Andrea.

And, in an effort to further blackmail the ladies (and to a certain extent Will and I), here are some pictures. Enjoy!

What Else Floats in Water?

Grey gravy? Very small rocks? Churches? (If you're not keeping up with me here, you need to see Monty Python and the Holy Grail...if you're with me, congrats!)

As of yesterday you can officially add my monkeys to this bevy of buoyant items. The boys completed their first ever swimming lessons last night! Holly signed them up in June for swim lessons at Gainesville's Green Street Pool. At first I was hesitant, knowing that we'd have to get to the office by (GASP!) eight in the morning in order to get out in time to get the boys way out to the sticks to swim. After a couple of days, though, it got easier to wake up that early, and it rocked to get out of work so early in the day. Anyway...

The lessons lasted two weeks, and were hilarious to behold. Matthew and his "Water Babies" class kicked off at 5:30 every day. Since most of the kids in his class were under 2, they were required to have a parent in the water with them at all times. I hung out with Matthew during the first week, and Holly took over this week. What a cool time!! The instructor showed us how to get the kids used to the idea of being in the water, then had us help the munchkins kick and "scoop ice cream." We used a lot of cool floaties, including kick boards and FunNoodles. Matthew would invariably freak out for about 15 seconds when he first got in the pool, but usually calmed down after that and had a great time. By the end of the second week he was very much at home in the pool.

Chris's classes were equally cool. There were only two other kids in the class, and one of them was only there about half the time. That being the case, Chris and the kid who actually came to class pretty much received one-on-one instruction for the entire two weeks. It was great! Holly, Matthew and I had to watch from a hill overlooking the pool to avoid distracting the class, but it was a blast seeing Chris interact with his teachers. They learned everything from floating on their backs to the "Superman" swim (face down, doing the "ice cream scoop" crawl), and even got to jump off of the pool's diving board a few times. That part was, I think, the funniest. Watching these little tiny people inch their way out to the end of the diving board, then fling themselves with all their might into the waiting arms of their instructors was completely hilarious.

At the end of class last night, each student received a little card indicating their class level and that they'd passed that particular class. Naturally, we'll be framing each one and hanging them in places of honor...or maybe we'll just put them in the boys' baby books. Either way, it was a great couple of weeks, and I'm sad to see it end. Still, it'll be great to take the boys up to our pool for the rest of the summer and see what kind of trouble they can get themselves into. Enjoy the pictures!

Touchdown!

I couldn't be prouder! Matthew is officially doing the "touchdown" manuever (ie, throwing his hands up in the air) when prompted!

And although his speech is a little, shall we say, "1-year-oldie," he can even spit out the occasional "DIT-DOW!" which is clearly munchkin speak for "Touchdown." It's a great day for football parents everywhere! :-)

My Kid's An Honor Student!

If you've known me for more than two seconds, you probably know how much I abhor those "My Kid Is An Honor Student At Bill's School for Underwater Basket Weaving" bumper stickers. I'm all about honoring your child's achievements at home through positive reinforcement, hugs, praise, whatever...BUT slapping a sticker on your car announcing to the world that your child is somehow more special than any other because he managed to get straight A's just makes you look like a jackass.

That being said...I will now play the role of the ultimate hypocrite by bragging about how cool my kid is!

The boys' school has a had some issues recently with personnel, follow-through and general "smart-making," an issue we brought to the attention of the owners a few weeks ago. As you might expect, they apologized profusely and assured us that they were working on getting some better teachers as well as initiating several new programs to reward those "students" (they are still in pre-school, after all) whose behavior warranted it. Fast forward to Monday afternoon, if you will...

We arrived at school Monday afternoon to pick up the boys, and Chris's teacher came out to greet us. "I have a very special surprise for Chris," she announced. As it turns out, the school now offers award ribbons to kids who are particularly respectful and well-mannered on any given day. This is somewhat in line with the old-school smiley faces or star stickers that we used to get when I was a kid (I say "we," but I don't recall getting too terribly many of them...hmmm). Anyway, I'm digressing. The point is that Chris had been so polite and well-behaved on that particular day that he was the only one whose behavior earned him the coveted "Awesome!" ribbon. This in turn garnered him a nice, fresh packet of Starburst as a reward from us.

A small victory, I'll admit, but a great one all the same. Maybe next time I'll resist the urge to beat up the guy driving the car with the "My Kid Doesn't Smell Like Rotten Feet!" sticker after all!

Pictures!

So it dawned on me just now that it's been a while since I've actually posted any pictures of the boys here. That being said, please enjoy the following pictures from the 4th of July!

Tubes!

Joining in the grand Johnston family tradition of having multiply messed-up ears, Matthew had tubes put in his ears yesterday. FUN! After several ear infections, Holly asked the doctor if we could just call the Ear Nose & Throat specialist to see if the tubes would be necessary, especially given that Chris is now on his SECOND set. We had an appointment a couple of weeks ago and, wouldn't you know it, the ENT said it was most assuredly tube time.

SO...we shipped Chris off to spend the night at Grandma and Papa's house on Thursday (other stories from that to be shared later), and dragged our sorry butts out of bed at 5:00 yesterday morning to drive down to the hospital. Since we'd been through the procedure twice with Chris already, we're sort of old pros with how things will go once we're down there. Still, it never ceases to amaze me how smoothly things run with this particular surgery.

We got to the hospital at 6:30 to fill out paperwork and get everything sqaured away with the insurance. At 7:55, the nurse came in to get Holly and Matthew (one of us could go with him into the anesthesiologist's office to help keep him calm during the "happy gas" time). Holly was back out of there at 8:00, and by 8:10 the doctor walked into the waiting room to tell us everything went perfectly! By 8:30, Matthew was out of recovery (with a new sippy-cup, too!), and we were out of there!

They told us that Matthew would most likely be a little irritable from the pain, but that keeping him doped up on Tylenol throughout the day would bring him back to normal. What a little champ he was about the whole thing! Not only was he NOT irritable at all on the way home, he was singing, laughing, clapping...the whole nine yards! I can only assume that he gets his pain tolerance from Holly as I'm a complete wuss!

When we got home, Matthew took a nap for a few hours while Holly and I did some work around the house. Matthew woke up at about the same time that Mom called to say she'd pick up Chris from school. Since we had a few things to run to their house anyway, we just drove over there to pick up Little Buddy. Once we got there, it took Matthew about two seconds to be in full-0ut little brother mode! The two of them were chasing each other around for the rest of the day, and pretty much all night.

That's all for now...more later!

Doing the Hippos

No...this isn't a post about attempting to hook up with a plus-size lady. If that's what you're looking for, you need to Google "hogging." THIS post revolves around what has become one of my favorite things to do with Chris: clipping his fingernails.

WHAT?!? Could you possibly have read that right?!? Did I actually say that clipping Chris's fingernails is one of my favorite things to do? Damn straight! And I'll tell ya' why...

There's a Sandra Boynton book out there called Hippos Go Berserk that's been a family classic for at least 30 years. The opening salvo is something like this:

One hippo all alone

Calls two hippos on the phone

Three hippos at the door

Bring along another four

Five hippos come overdressed

Six hippos show up with a guest

Seven hippos arrive in a sack

Eight hippos sneak in the back

Nine hippos come to work

ALL THE HIPPOS GO BERSERK!!!

Well...after three-plus years of reading this book to Chris, he pretty much has that opening part memorized. Take into account that you're basically talking about 10 pages worth of hippos, and add to that the fact that Chris has (duh!) ten fingers, and you've got a recipe for parenting success! Take one kid who hates having his fingernails clipped ("Daddy! You're hurting my fingernails' feelings!!!) and add a bunch of berserk hippos, shake and serve. Now you've got story time with a purpose!

When we figure out that Chris's fingernails are just about as long as your average coke-head's, we say, "Chris! It's time to do the hippos!" Instead of shrieks, wails, and general lamenting, Chris hops up on the counter for a quick clipping. SO..."One hippo all alone" becomes the first nail we clip, and so on.

The funniest part of all of this, though, is Chris's recitation of the book as we go along. Sometimes I have to lead him a little bit, but basically he knows the entire thing. My favorite parts are (Chris's version below):

Three hippos at the door

Bringin' along another four

Eight hippos sneakin' in the back

and of course...

ALL THE HIPPOS GO BERSERK!!!!!...

at which point we both shriek and scream. It's easily one of my favorite things, and one that I think every parent should try if they can't get their kids to sit still for fingernail clipping time. I'd be remiss not to mention that there's also a countdown from ten, which is perfect for toenail clipping. This one is a little less common (toenails seem to grow MUCH slower than fingernails), but equally cute. I'm not 100% sure on this, but it's close to this:

All through the hippo night

Hippos play with great delight

But at the hippo break of day

The hippos all must go away

Nine hippos and a beast (this is the guest who came with the aforementioned 6 hippos)

Join eight hippos riding east

Seven hippos headed west

Leave six hippos quite distressed

Five hippos then set forth

With four hippos headed north

Three hippos say "Good day!"

The last two hippos go their way

One hippo, alone once more,

Misses the other forty-four (sad hippo with a party hat staring at his phone and trashed house)

What Happened to Da Da Da?

So a few months ago Matthew began a cool new trend...talking! The funny thing was, though, that no matter what, who, where, or whatever he was talking about, the word for that item was "Da." Daddy? "Da." Mommy? "Da." Poop? Food? House? Dog? Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? "Da!" For a while I thought that I must be the coolest dad in the world to have MY name attached to everything that piqued Matthew's interest. HOWEVER...times have most assuredly changed!

Today, everything in sight has become "Ma," elating Holly and leading to my total disillusionment in the belief that I rock. Still...that little booger simply could not be ANY cuter, and whatever words come out of his mouth make me feel like a million bucks that Holly and I could have made something so amazing. Doesn't change the fact that we're hoping for "Touchdown" or "Go Dawgs!" as the official first word, though! :-)

Have You Had Your Paper Chicken Recently?

GEEZ! I didn't realize how far behind I'd fallen in my storytelling...this one's from Christmas of 2005!!!

It was time for Christmas pictures, and we were doing everything in our power to get Chris psyched up for a haircut and pictures. All day long, we promised him that if he behaved himself while getting his hair cut that we'd take him to get his picture taken. Not exactly a candy bar or a day at Chuck-E-Cheese's, but remember that he is, after all, my kid and as such is quite the ham. Anyway...the entire day Chris kept talking about getting his paper chicken, and we couldn't figure out what the heck he was talking about until we actually got to the photo studio. FINALLY it dawned on us...Paper Chicken = Picture Taken!

Add THAT to your Chris Johnston-to-English dictionary! :-)

How'd They Make Those Orange?

This just in from the "my kids didn't say it, but it's hilarious anyway" department...

We were driving along with my sister, Hope, one day when the topic of sweet potatoes came up (I'm still not sure exactly how this happened, so just go with me on it). Remembering for a second that Hope is quite possibly the world's most random thinker, she says, "How do they make those potatoes orange, anyway?" We laughed so hard that Holly darned near drove off the road!

Waking Up the Sun

OK...admittedly this post is well over a year past-due, but it's pretty cool even still. Last February Holly flew down to Orlando with Chris in tow en-route to Miami for the boat show. Their flight left just prior to the butt crack of dawn, meaning that the sun rose while they were on the way down. While looking out the window at the rising sun, Chris turned to Holly and said, "Look, Mommy! We're waking up the sun!"

Again, an oldie but certainly a goodie...lots of random posts today as I dig through old notes about cute things the boys have done. Hope you enjoy!

Just Whose AMI is It?!?

So last week I was in Florida for a media fishing trip, and flew home out of Miami. When Holly asked Chris if he was excited for me to be coming home from Miami, he said, "It's not YOUR-ami, Mommy, it's HIS-ami!"

The things that come out of that kid's mouth just never cease to amaze me!

A Milestone...Thanks for Reading!

This site has finally reached its first milestone. On Friday, April 27 the site registered its one thousandth hit!

Thanks to all of you for reading and checking up on the progress of our little monkeys. I'll do my best to keep on posting here when events warrant it. Thanks again!!

Dirty Words

I was reading Jenn & Tym's blog today, and a post from "Cousin Johnny" got me riled up a little bit. Johnny was complaining about a friend of his who had recently had a baby. When he visited said child, a curse word inadvertently escaped his lips. This utterance prompted the happy mother to say "Uh oh, uncle johnny owes you a dollar!" From there, as you can imagine, Uncle Johnny called BS and railed about parents asking other people to control their langauge around the kids instead of just telling them, "I know Uncle Johnny said that, but WE do NOT." Below is the comment that I left on their blog...enjoy!


Cousin Johnny...you ROCK! Thanks for saying what absolutely needed to be said! I have two little monkeys of my own, and we have very few qualms about using the occasional (or even frequent, as was the case a few nights ago) curse word around our kids. Since our youngest just turned one and can pretty much only say "Mama" and "Dada," I'm really not worried about him him repeating anything unpleasant. My three-year-old, on the other hand, pretty much repeats everything we say. He's like a little parrot, but he's smart enough to know the difference between what he can get away with and a "potty word" (pretty sissy, I know, but it works!).
The thing that really gets to me is the names and words that people come up with for anatomical extremities (or cavities, for that matter), the materials that flow from those areas. In case you're missing out, I'm talking about plumbing here, people. The words penis and vagina are NOT dirty, nor are pee or poop. I've heard a never-ending string of euphemisms for these over the past three years, and they're just plain stupid! Tee Tee, Wee Wee, Poo Poo...Just call it what it is, Mom and Dad! Our oldest son was at daycare one day and told the teacher he had to pee while he was already sitting down to poop. The teacher said, "Just remember to point your Tee Tee down!" Chris just looked at her for a minute, then said, "It's not my Tee Tee. It's my penis!" As if to say...GET IT STRAIGHT LADY!

Just sayin'...

Where the Heck Have I Been?

I just realized how long it's been since I've posted anything here, so I thought today I'd get back on the ol' blogging bandwagon. I think the last time I posted, Matthew was just starting to crawl and Chris had just turned three.

Well...not a whole lot has really changed since then. Matthew can now pull himself up to a standing position by holding on to tables, chairs, my leg hairs (OUCH!) and anything else that's handy. He's managed to walk his way around many of these objects, but still refuses to try to walk on his own. The closest he's come so far has been to use a small chair at Holly's parents' house as a kind of walker. He'd push it along in front of himself while he walked behind it. Not exactly walking, but pretty damned cute all the same!

Matthew also has four teeth now, the top two of which are (for lack of a better word here) bucked. They've got a small gap between them, so his smile is hilariously goofy. Holly assures me that they'll be pushed together once he starts getting more teeth, so I'm really trying to take extra time to enjoy them for now.

What's the most amazing to us is the remarkable amount of growth that Matthew has experienced over the past month or so. He finally turned off the puke factory in his tummy, so now the food he eats actually stays INSIDE! INCREDIBLE! In the time since that's happened, he's gained well over a pound, and is really starting to get big. Apparently barfing your food back up has the unfortunate side effect of sending with it any sort of vocabulary, because since he stopped yacking...he's started yakking! The kid talks a blue streak these days! We went from only getting "dadadadadadadada" all day long to mama, papa, baba, and a whole plethora of other noises. It's great! The little monkey is finally starting to grow up into a little person!

Chris is also doing great these days. Every day he seems to learn something new, though over the past couple of weeks he's been picking up some bad habits from some of the kids at school (at least I HOPE that's where he's getting them...). He's been smarting off a little more than we'd prefer, so we've had to lay the smack down a few times. Never fun... We've found that the best punishments for Chris are taking away his books and his Spidey costume, the latter of which has spent the past four days in our closet because of some attitude he was throwing at us over the weekend.

BUT...I don't want to dwell on that anymore. Let's talk about how damned CUTE he is! I'm sure Chris will want to kill me later in his life for writing this, but he tells us at night that he's a princess or the "Good Fairy" (from the Little Bunny Foo Foo song), and puts on long t-shirts that he calls his "dress." Then he takes out a plastic coat hanger and uses it as his wand, telling us that he's going to turn us into a Goon (again, from Little Bunny Foo Foo)! It's frickin' hysterical!

But I think the funniest thing he's been up to these days is coming up with kid's versions of swear words. The curse word du jour has been "Coconut Head," which he uses pretty much constantly. This is far better than some of the other ones he's brought home...Booty Butt, Baby Bath, Baby Booty and more! I think the funniest of those is Baby Bath, though, since it makes absolutely no sense!

On the growing up side of things, Chris is finally sleeping without a diaper! He's been walking around without one for several months now, but we are just now getting him to sleep without one. It's pretty cool, and he's done a great job of not wetting the bed. We're so proud of him!
Boy...I never thought it'd be FUN to write about my kid not peeing...I must be getting old!

Well, that's about it on the kid front for now. I'll do my best to keep posting now that I've remembered this little blog. Hope you enjoyed the update!